The Spiders Strike: A too close encounter!!!

It seems the spiders are getting in the Halloween spirit. I had an extremely close encounter with one of those giant brown garden spiders two days ago that left me shrieking and doing the heebie jeebies dance in my driveway. I had walked into its web and its wriggling body touched my shoulder! Shudder, mega shudder!! I was sure a neighbor would run to my rescue once they heard my cries of disgust, but no, not even so much as a window curtain pulled back in curiosity. The spiders struck again tonight. The pile of clothes on my floor was getting to be sizeable, making my room look quite small, so I decided to do some tidying. I picked up a sweater from the pile and, Aaaaahhhh!!! A big, hairy thing with legs like licorice sticks was ready to pounce, guarding the pile of clothes as though it were his loot. This time I controlled myself and let out only a minor yelp and then took action. I scanned my surroundings and found my trusty black flats by my side so I acted quickly, with precision, like a seasoned warrior. I won't go into detail, but yes, the remains from the battle join the rest of my exhibition as evidence of a gruesome war yet to cease, and intruders need be wary.
Cute black flats can be used for more than just accessorizing...